Anakin HATES sand

Soooo I realize i like having a blog for the main reason that i have a lot to say but not a lot of people are willing to listen to me ramble on about my opinions in person, so with a blog they are opting to hear me out AND they can skip stuff if their bored and its not as rude as walking away from me when im talking about something that makes no sense. Did that even make sense? I would never say all this stuff outloud, but im glad its being saved in a sort of time capsule for my thoughts.

A recent goal in life has been to watch Star Wars because ive never seen them and my friend Hayden thinks this is problematic to my development as a person. I never saw it because i didnt grow up with it, and i was stubborn about watching it because everyone said it was amazing and i figured it was a nostalgic movie series that you love no matter how shitty it is because it reminds you of your childhood (ex: Gumby) but i figured i would take one day out of my life and watch all the movies 4-6, then 1-3. I was actually really into them! the first 3 had harrison ford and that was nice to look at, and there were just that core group of characters so it was easy to understand.
then in the new ones they just start throwing in random aliens and expect me to know who they are and why they are blowing up EVERYTHING.i just cant handle all the battle and shooting scenes. ugh. how does baby DV blow up a whole space station by himself ON ACCIDENT when theres fighter ships that are all trying to do the same but are failing epicly(is that even a word?) In the new episodes all i can concentrate on is Anakins dumb pixie hair cut (or the begginings of a mullet, starting off with way more business than party),how Chewbaccahs so hilarious and unneccesary and c3po retarded panic run. It was cool to finally understand jokes that people on tv make about starwars. i had so many AHA moments, recognizing music and characters ( we actually have a life size c3po in our living room and i didnt know where it was from. my dad doesnt even like starwars, so how that snuck in is beyond me).


more exciting news! i met JOHN GREEN. Vlogbrother/author/made of awesome JOHN GREEN. i met his brother hank last year at a concert he put on. both were great but John is officially my new favorite. ive read all his other books and hes becoming an obsession. can you see the excitement in my face as i awkwardly point at him and his glorious puff?

You are just a SPECK.

my brain hurts. Last night i had the deepest conversation with Jennys friends Evan and Kyle about infinity and the thought of forever. i dont know how i have never thought of that before. "space is neverending blah blah blah" then i slow down and think how theres no limit, and we cant even say how big it is because we have nothing that big to ever compare it to in our small insignificant lives. we are specks. less than specks. we have no purpose being here. we are born, we learn, school, work, love, retire,die. in the middle of that, if you think about it, all we are is poop machines. we just consume thousands of dollars in food and poop it out.look at the earth...



not to be pessimistic but isnt everything you do in life a waste? you are just going to die soon anyway. why are we so worried about scratched cars and people cutting in lines? is that going to really impact your happiness? i mean the whole world would be suicidal if this is what we had to fathom everyday, thats why theres religion, to give people something to concentrate on and give there little lives direction and know that if they do what the guy in the cloud says then they will matter, somehow.
But in an optimistic way of thinking, we are learning until the day we die and we get to better ourselves and experiment with the strange idea that is the human race.
WHY ARE WE HERE? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? FUCKING MAGNETS... HOW DO THEY WORK?
Then they brought up the idea that as guys they dont picture living past a certain age. ive always thought i was going to grow old because im so cautious, but what if im that one strange case, like the girl who gets stuck in a tree shredder(fargo style). my grandpa asked me on my last birthday if i excpected to make it to 19. should i not have been alive? same for my dad, but with the shit hes been through, he shouldnt have made it past 30.

other than that intense brain wave, I went to Golden gate again and took cheeseball pictures and laughed at tourists.

went to a SF party and was not memorable, except for sonya dropped her phone under the fridge and some kid bit this girls birthday cake.

"the only place little chocolatiers are acceptable is in willy wonkas chocolate factory" my roommate jenny just said this gem because she is equally as grossed out by that midget chocolate show as i am.



GROSS.yet im still intruiged.

i went on the most beautiful roadtrip with sonya and ximena up the Northern California coast. We listened to our good old driving mixes with lots of america and van morrison etc and yelled at cows. We drove 170 miles all the way up to this little artsy beach town called Mendecino.This is what i want, to live in one of these beach cottages, own 3 cows and and orange grove. there is NOTHING better than driving on a sunny day with music, and the windows down with your best friends. then ximena painted this really cool flower on my hand and i made her hand into an octopus.






"i want to frolick like no other"

a pool of neeewwwdles

my split personalities, can you name them? No the last personality isn't UGLY, and yes i know its weird and concieted that i drew myself 4 times

...


ok let me go through them for you....
the russian widower? i dont know what this one represents actually. i drew it last because there was an empty space and i didnt want to cut the paper.




#2
this is sweet ol ash. innocent, virginal,girlnextdoor. and i care about feelings! I like vintage grandma clothes and i say weird shit like golly and neato! i like the beatles ( but then again WHO THE FUCK DOESNT)and floral prints. this is also the gentler version i use when im meeting new people and dont want to freak them out too much.




3. my favorite version of me
laid back nerd. Harry Potter, vests, art, brotherhood 2.0, youtubeaholic. Quirky, SO FUNNY. it kinda sucks for you guys because you dont even hear half the jokes i say in my head that i either forget or are innappropriate.



4. the rare bad ass perv adventure ash, DGAFing about anything else other than having a good time, even if it includes breaking the law. not my most attractive face, but hey atleast im not into heroine and i still have all my teeth.


I like that i have so many personalities, but i wish theyd mesh together better sometimes or that i favored my geek self more in public rather than reserved #2. WORKING ON IT.


watched patch adams the other night and it made me excited for physical therapy. i love the lady in the pool of noodles, definately added her funny accented "newwwdles" to my list of favorite words.


oh and THANK YOU to the person who said that they liked my blog! thats one person. no but really i appreciated seeing that on my formspring. its such a weird thing to get questions from strangers. you get the negatives, but theres a lot more positives or atleast well thought out questions taht are really fun to answer! give it a try...

http://www.formspring.me/ashleyrhoades

have a good night, and keep lookin up!



oh hai!

99 problems... and theyre all bitches.

Just finished making Nutella cookies. newly named "cookies that look and smell like heaven but in actuality, they are clever little camouflaged fucks that taste like dirt and are too gross to eat so i they get thrown away and i wasted half a cup of my godly nutella". i would have made the really awesome cookies i normally do but we had no choco chiaps so that was out. Been on a creative streak as well... heres a team effort between me and Sarah

I started drawing the lady from The Birds, then sarah started drawing a dementor and it was pure MAGIC! I made another painting thats like a self portrait of my split personalities.ill upload that later. some of the faces hurt to look at, but then my roommates reassured me that they are pretty accurate to the ugly faces i make.

so the other day i was called a "tall drink of water". i urban dictionaried it and its a good thing!like a glass of cold water on a hot day, refreshing? i dont remember all of it but it was funny so now its going into my vocabulary.

So i decided that I'm leaving SF to go home to pacific beach. Its not that im not happy here.. I am! but I want to get a job and work on a Physical Therapy program at Mesa and be able to hang out with the family. My moms so worried about me falling into my old habits and droning on about how i need to be more "proactive" so im really going to try and make a change and i think moving home for a little bit and having my parents yell at me again after my freedom for 2 years is going to be the solution. OR it will make me realize how much i loved living on my own and ill end up pulling out my eyebrows.

Don't Drink the Koolaid

No this isn't Jonestown, I am just in a giggle fit today! maybe its the great weather or that im just psycho after having a wine glass of Koolaid = Ghetto sophistication. Sarah and i threw pennies at eachother and tried to judo chop them, then we tried talking like Mark the alien from Ugopatamia "CHOOOOCLATE" and THEN i had the epiphany that my roomates are perfectly the sisterhood of the traveling pants. Alicias the little greek whore, Sarah is the blonde soccer star, jennys the pissed off puerto rican and im Libby the weirdo. TOTALLY IN UNISON! Jenny joked that the pants would only be magic on me when they were so short theyd turn into capris!

"i do a great impression of a hot dog!" Stooopid sarah does this and hits her head on the wall hahahaha

why i have no friends.

ofcourse im not sitting at home alone on a saturday night in the living room with no pants watching "Snakes on a Plane" and playing chatroulette. pfff, that would be embarassing and pathetic.


oh nevermind, billy madisons on. now i can feel a little better about myself.

CALL DA ZOO! deres a PENGUIN on da LOOSE!

lol i thought i was your snakpak

a true masterpiece

first BFG circa 1931

Went to the MOMA on free day with sarah. LOVE art. i love that it can have a deeper meaning if you want it to or just be something that catches your eye or makes you laugh.One exibit was from this guy who took pictures of these 4 sisters in the same pose for 30 years in B&W and lined them all up. That was probably my favorite to watch them grow from teens to grandmas in about 2 minutes. Art museums do two things for me 1) inspire me to be creative and make things that please me and not the public. 2) scare the shit out of me when i can see into other peoples art shit thats roaming in their idea bin. i guess we are all crazy, but DAMN. there was one piece in a freezer that was dumbells made of petroleum jelly. why?

Such a good wednesday! Alicias stepbrother Caleb and his friend Craig came over and we played beerpong which i completely dominated at. BOO YAH except i did get extremely distracted by all the guys showing us their boobs... went to the playground, failed temporary tattoo bracelets, gave foot massages, scared caleb EVERYTIME he came out of the bathroom and fell from laughing so hard, and being tackled. Its always fun when they visit.
but now i have to start doing term papers, or pretending to write them while i write blogs, youtube, facebook, http://thedailywh.at/ ,and wishing i could be making things like art or videos! if you were to get a tattoo what would it be of?
i always thought i wanted a hot air balloon but it didnt have any connection to anything, i just think they are a really whimsical thing that makes flight still a childish wonder. if that makes sense.
im going to work on a hate video. after seeing this, i realised that all these things REALLY piss me off. Example: i was in a lecture hall and this kid walks in an hour late with a bag of potato chips and was making the loudest noise when he was opening it. same with people who leave class early and slam the door. RUDE. hah so ya i have some venting to do.
BAD SPELLING!

thanks for the candy...

wheres ashley?





I'm getting to a degree of laziness that i dont even want to write a blog because that means i have to sign in. Spring Break just happened, and it was below my expectations. Nobodys fault except for my own, my lack of want to be around people and hear about problems for hours, but when i want to talk about myself i feel like i shouldnt because its boring to them.i need to figure out whats important in my life and treat people better than i do, not that im mean or malicious but my standoffish attitude and just ignoring people. I hate the feeling of uncertainty in myself. it sucks. ALOT. and thats why i feel like when im with my sister she actually knows who i am so much that she reads my mind and is able to fix it. i only got to see her for four days which was definately not enough because she was traveling the country for Volleyball, so i occupied my time with community service events and painting her room. it took a full day but im super pleased with the way it turned out, a sea foamish green that turned out more like a sour mint color.

I'm glad i got to see my friends. saw a lot of that crazy bitch chelsea and slightly raged, pampered anna and drew sick mamma mia eyes on her knees after she got her laser eye surgery and was all fucked up on vicadin, watched half of starwars with haydz ,baked a cake with my nuche and told racist jokes, threw out eggs for the kids at the rec and hide them in the trees and watch the little shits jump. It was neat on easter morning at like 3:30 AM my dad set out clues in eggs for me to figure out but i was confused and my brain was jello that early so he just gave me my candy and lotto ticket and i went to the airport and slept in the confrence room at my moms work until my flight then got home and took an 8 hour nap. Why is it as soon as i leave theres an awesome earthquake? first i leave and miss all the floods, but not this?

ok BEST joke from my grandmas tasteless joke book... why did so many black men die in the war?


WHY?


Because when they screamed "GET DOWN!" all the black guys stood up and danced.

ahahaha thats a good way to end this.