http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvtvV95EQLQ
Friday, October 29, 2010
Don't hit me, I'll hit me!
the cutest sign off on a blog or video it to say happy birthday, because someone, somewhere is having a birthday and you are going to surprise the shit straight out of them. Oh and does anyone remember hey arnolds crazy dance? I was talking about bullying with my cousin and i told him if anyone tries to mess with you, just go batshit crazy and smash plates on your head. its foolproof.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvtvV95EQLQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nvtvV95EQLQ
Monday, October 18, 2010
OK GO
This has been one of the most eventful weekends ive had in a while because i actually left the house. On thursday i went to a gym class with Annelise and megan and i have never been worked so hard.I actually was doing these push ups on half of an excercise ball and i slipped and hit myself in the face. It gets late so we just start asking eachother giiiirly questions like "omg like so who would you totally bang out of every man in the universe?" and we fumble with the generic answers...well I did. george clooney, ryan gosling, annelise is actually planning on becoming Mrs. Jason segal now that she knows hes only 30. Im changing my answer to Damien the lead singer for OK GO,because i slept on it. not him. but now you know i want to. 
We went on an adventure to pick up a drunk asian friend and realized super fast that he was too drunk because he tried to go out the car door when it was closed and his head bounced off the glass like those crows in the windex commericals.Drove him around pb and got handfed orange slices and kisses on the cheek. I felt like a pampered geisha.
etc.etc. it got wierd.
Rachel had a volleyball team bonding slumberparty at our house and it was adorable. I love how when you have a team its like instant friends. you spank eachothers asses and its destiny. Sooooo i came home from the surf club party to see them all on the couch with the ziploc full of charades scraps that my mom made when we were kids with obscure movies like "Driving Miss Daisy" and "Last of the Mohicans", every 10 year olds favorites. Then the girls all went to boba and Lazer tag where julia and i had the brilliant plan to draw on our faces with highlighters before we went into the blacklight. we looked hella tribal.
The kids who went in before us were all wearing glowsticks and put them on the gamemaster who gave them to us so we got all decked out! Went home and had a glowstick danceparty and ate sundaes. These girls are so fun! i have to remember that theyre rachels friends and im there to half ass chaperone and not really be part of the party, but its SO HARD. Its weird because when i see their team together it reminds me of when that was me and all my teammates just having shits and giggles. Now everyones so far away and making new best friends and its hard not to get really nostalgic watching Rachel live out her senior year and make all those excitingly bad choices(allegedly), thats what high schools about. Right? right.
Chipman took me geocaching around PB. we found one over by Seaworld. It was a little Altoid tin painted black and inside was a log book with all the previous finders names and dates, 2 melted now & laters and a rubber spider. I'm hoping for a better cache next time... DREAM BIG.
Im addicted to skins.
UK tv series like if Degrassi was uncensored and people were actually attractive. Sid and cassie.Sid and Cassie. Sid and Cassie. I cant get them out of my mind
And i love that my house has so much random shit that the day before halloween i can find all the fixin's for an Indiana Jones costume (even a whip! even though its more of the sexual kind with all the tassles.... i asked my dad for it and he located it unusually fast.)
We went on an adventure to pick up a drunk asian friend and realized super fast that he was too drunk because he tried to go out the car door when it was closed and his head bounced off the glass like those crows in the windex commericals.Drove him around pb and got handfed orange slices and kisses on the cheek. I felt like a pampered geisha.
etc.etc. it got wierd.
Rachel had a volleyball team bonding slumberparty at our house and it was adorable. I love how when you have a team its like instant friends. you spank eachothers asses and its destiny. Sooooo i came home from the surf club party to see them all on the couch with the ziploc full of charades scraps that my mom made when we were kids with obscure movies like "Driving Miss Daisy" and "Last of the Mohicans", every 10 year olds favorites. Then the girls all went to boba and Lazer tag where julia and i had the brilliant plan to draw on our faces with highlighters before we went into the blacklight. we looked hella tribal.
The kids who went in before us were all wearing glowsticks and put them on the gamemaster who gave them to us so we got all decked out! Went home and had a glowstick danceparty and ate sundaes. These girls are so fun! i have to remember that theyre rachels friends and im there to half ass chaperone and not really be part of the party, but its SO HARD. Its weird because when i see their team together it reminds me of when that was me and all my teammates just having shits and giggles. Now everyones so far away and making new best friends and its hard not to get really nostalgic watching Rachel live out her senior year and make all those excitingly bad choices(allegedly), thats what high schools about. Right? right.
Chipman took me geocaching around PB. we found one over by Seaworld. It was a little Altoid tin painted black and inside was a log book with all the previous finders names and dates, 2 melted now & laters and a rubber spider. I'm hoping for a better cache next time... DREAM BIG.
Im addicted to skins.
UK tv series like if Degrassi was uncensored and people were actually attractive. Sid and cassie.Sid and Cassie. Sid and Cassie. I cant get them out of my mind
And i love that my house has so much random shit that the day before halloween i can find all the fixin's for an Indiana Jones costume (even a whip! even though its more of the sexual kind with all the tassles.... i asked my dad for it and he located it unusually fast.)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Anybody want to go to BRAD PAISLEY?! No? didn't think so.
For Nuches birthday the only thing she wanted more than getting laid was to go to the Justin Moore/Brad Paisley concert and be a cowboys dream for one night. and by cowboys dream i mean drink your weight in booze and be unconsious so you dont talk so much. 
PAUSE. REWIND! We started the night with a Mr. jerry and got to the parking lot and met up with Kelly. I have never seen so many trucks and sexy men in my life! i was starting to get pulled into her fantasy with military muscle men and their all-American Fords and straw chewin, bud chuggin lifestyle. At this point megan hadnt eaten but we kept taking shots and doing our classy thing in the parking lot.
So then it was time to go in so megan starts bolting! as soon as we get past the gate she is GOOOONE. she sprinted to the stageleapfrogging over security guards into VIP tables and such. I find her again and she pulls me like a mom bragging her kid real fast out of the toystore. shes on a mission to get to the grass but once se get there we just get yelled at by angry hicks and megan starts losing it, at this point i dont even think she knows what the word balance means. She was rolling on peoples blankets, rolling down the hill, falling over lawn chairs into peoples laps. We pushed up to the top edge of the grass and i had her sit down to watch the energizer bunny beat that damn drum until she fell off a little cliff...
going, going, going... gone. She rest for a second and i sat there clicking my cowboy boots together when this girl comes up to me and gets in my face, "Are you trying to make a move on my boyfriend?" i was soooo lost so i obviously said i didnt know what she was talking about, then she went into how my boot was touching his leg and it escalated into her threatening me. She was planning on actually fighting me. i just looked up at her and said (total bad ass moment) " bitch, do you want me to stand up and kick your ass? wait and see how big i am, wait.and see." I was so distracted that when i turned around nuche was having her pulse checked my 2 security guards. uh oh. bad news bears. We had been in the concert for 10 minutes and hadnt even seen brad paisley yet by the time we were being dragged(literally for her) to the exit. they slapped her around and asked her mundane questions and asked where our ride was. the only problem that the girl who drove us there couldnt pick us up for another 2 hours sooooooooo Ambulance time! am i supposed to say how excited i was? SO EXCITED. after they hooked nuche up to tubes like she should be in geriatrics and a own respirator. want to see a picture?ofcourse i took one because im a good friend.
I got to ride in the front with the sexual EMT guy. I realized that he is an infinite hero, saving lives every day like that. BOOM sexy points are overflowing. We get to the hospital and i explain her story and give all the info i can. Called my mom out of reflex and she calmed me down. The way im typing it right now may not seem scary, but once youre in that position its hard to relax until you know that your friend can be fixed. and she was but it took her 8 hours. In these 8 hours i felt like i was on scrubs cracking jokes and making friends with the securityguard and front desk man, i even made friends with a couple who also came from the concert. This lady drought her husband because he was on some kind of drug, speaking in tongues and going crosseyed. Everything was frighteningly hysterical. For example: the nurses for some reason dont do bed pans? so i was forcefully handed one and told to "relieve my friend". At this point she can barely pull her head off the pillow so i have to figure out a way to do this and not get pissed on. i failed. but i was drunk enough were i just kind of looked at her like " ohhahho yoooou! dont worry i always pee all over myself and my friends, nothing to be ashamed of!"
after 8 hours she started rolling around and stuff so i figured it was time to go and her friend was there to pick us up. the only problem was she wasnt fully awake so the nurse asked me " does she respond to a certain nickname or something?" nuche was too obvious and i was too drunkenly clever to let this pass me by. " she only answers to Buttsex." "really?" yep really really. so there i am with watching this nurse shake the shit out of her yelling buttsex in her ear. Definately going in my top 10 funniest memories hahaha.
They filled her with 3 fluid bags to hydrate her and they said her blood alcohol content was .460, which for her body weight is lethal and she should have been dead, so luckily we were dragged out of the concert because I dont think i could live in a world with no nuche. Glad youre alive, thanks for the memories and HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY:)
PAUSE. REWIND! We started the night with a Mr. jerry and got to the parking lot and met up with Kelly. I have never seen so many trucks and sexy men in my life! i was starting to get pulled into her fantasy with military muscle men and their all-American Fords and straw chewin, bud chuggin lifestyle. At this point megan hadnt eaten but we kept taking shots and doing our classy thing in the parking lot. 
So then it was time to go in so megan starts bolting! as soon as we get past the gate she is GOOOONE. she sprinted to the stageleapfrogging over security guards into VIP tables and such. I find her again and she pulls me like a mom bragging her kid real fast out of the toystore. shes on a mission to get to the grass but once se get there we just get yelled at by angry hicks and megan starts losing it, at this point i dont even think she knows what the word balance means. She was rolling on peoples blankets, rolling down the hill, falling over lawn chairs into peoples laps. We pushed up to the top edge of the grass and i had her sit down to watch the energizer bunny beat that damn drum until she fell off a little cliff...
going, going, going... gone. She rest for a second and i sat there clicking my cowboy boots together when this girl comes up to me and gets in my face, "Are you trying to make a move on my boyfriend?" i was soooo lost so i obviously said i didnt know what she was talking about, then she went into how my boot was touching his leg and it escalated into her threatening me. She was planning on actually fighting me. i just looked up at her and said (total bad ass moment) " bitch, do you want me to stand up and kick your ass? wait and see how big i am, wait.and see." I was so distracted that when i turned around nuche was having her pulse checked my 2 security guards. uh oh. bad news bears. We had been in the concert for 10 minutes and hadnt even seen brad paisley yet by the time we were being dragged(literally for her) to the exit. they slapped her around and asked her mundane questions and asked where our ride was. the only problem that the girl who drove us there couldnt pick us up for another 2 hours sooooooooo Ambulance time! am i supposed to say how excited i was? SO EXCITED. after they hooked nuche up to tubes like she should be in geriatrics and a own respirator. want to see a picture?ofcourse i took one because im a good friend.
I got to ride in the front with the sexual EMT guy. I realized that he is an infinite hero, saving lives every day like that. BOOM sexy points are overflowing. We get to the hospital and i explain her story and give all the info i can. Called my mom out of reflex and she calmed me down. The way im typing it right now may not seem scary, but once youre in that position its hard to relax until you know that your friend can be fixed. and she was but it took her 8 hours. In these 8 hours i felt like i was on scrubs cracking jokes and making friends with the securityguard and front desk man, i even made friends with a couple who also came from the concert. This lady drought her husband because he was on some kind of drug, speaking in tongues and going crosseyed. Everything was frighteningly hysterical. For example: the nurses for some reason dont do bed pans? so i was forcefully handed one and told to "relieve my friend". At this point she can barely pull her head off the pillow so i have to figure out a way to do this and not get pissed on. i failed. but i was drunk enough were i just kind of looked at her like " ohhahho yoooou! dont worry i always pee all over myself and my friends, nothing to be ashamed of!"
after 8 hours she started rolling around and stuff so i figured it was time to go and her friend was there to pick us up. the only problem was she wasnt fully awake so the nurse asked me " does she respond to a certain nickname or something?" nuche was too obvious and i was too drunkenly clever to let this pass me by. " she only answers to Buttsex." "really?" yep really really. so there i am with watching this nurse shake the shit out of her yelling buttsex in her ear. Definately going in my top 10 funniest memories hahaha.
They filled her with 3 fluid bags to hydrate her and they said her blood alcohol content was .460, which for her body weight is lethal and she should have been dead, so luckily we were dragged out of the concert because I dont think i could live in a world with no nuche. Glad youre alive, thanks for the memories and HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY:)
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Fest season
Went to the Adams Avenue street fair with Annelise because a friend of ours was playing a show at their loft(which was on top of the fabric store. how indie chic!)even more indie chic was that their name is The Watoosies and they sounded great. When the stopped playing i realized the lead singer was from another band that Anna and i had seen a show of his when we were 16 at the Che Cafe when he was Atoms and we were out passed curfew. So I fan girled out on him and told him how i still sing his song in the shower sometimes and i have a button with his face on it in my room. Creepy? he thought it was cool and touched my hand to absorb my "good energy". rock on.He showed us his room that had the electrical switch board for the entire building and it was covered in neat freehand labeling from the 20s.
Bought some earrings that were sliced ad dyed cow horns then went to mexican food and saw an older aquaintance from campland and that was bizarre del mundo. Have you ever met people that remember way more about memories you were in and you dont remember at all? this guy started whipping out stories that i hadnt thought about for years and then just looked at me and said " you dont look like you drink. youre a church girl, i can tell." where did that even come from? its not like i was wearing a bonnet and elbow gloves. i dont know why i was insulted maybe because he had no questioning in his voice and said it like it was a fact. urked. We ditched theguy and went to a party that I'm guessing was on the border of Hillcrest, but no matter, it was still fabulous. its weird though. ive never been to a party where a good 90% of the crowd was yearning for dick. Even the straight guys were gay. This would've beed an ideal time to start my quest for a sassy gay friend but I failed and played with the snake. NO INNUENDO. In my Monologue ramble when i new people i always start off with the same questions: Have you met anyone famous ever? (this is just for my kevin bacon connections) What animal would you be? I think you look like this animal(this is either when they become my best friend or hate me)I need to add more interesting questions other than the generic fluffernuts about school, classes, where are you from etc. i dont think i remember where people are from EVER ( except the guy from Texas because every square inch of his house was YELLING IT AT ME) but i will remember the story about a black girl who cut you in the lunchline, you beat her with your lunch tray and she stabbed you with a pen and you got sent to jailtrue story. hahaha this happened to Mr. Texas, but hes just a good story in general.
So if you have any ideas for fun questions leave them in the comments please!
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Who has no shirt and supports domestic violence?
Thissssssss guyyyyyyyyyyy
The weirdest night of my life happened this week. Its too weird not to document. We went to a going away party for Nuches friend Nibley who is being sent to Iraq. Ok I just replayed this night in my head and I don’t think I can say much other than Megan got the new nickname “buttsex” and there was a skinhead in a tuxedo g-string with a superman tattoo on his chest.I need to remember this when im 50, look back and then pretend my life was wild like this every night.
Military people are a different breed. heres some ideas on what happened that night:
Baby man
Naked shower
Jacuzzi sex
don’t mess with Texas ANYTIME
nibley niblin on nip
Back massages
tuxedo G-string
"when naked Marines attack!"
Wife with the bible and a horse face
YOU FORGOT YOUR THOOOOOONG!
mmmkmmk
We woke up in the morning and watched the Hangover and drained the jacuzzi while i made pancakes. Classic. I hope you enjoyed your fucking flapjacks NIBLEY, they were made with love and jack because i couldnt find a clean cup :) Come home safe and soon.
The weirdest night of my life happened this week. Its too weird not to document. We went to a going away party for Nuches friend Nibley who is being sent to Iraq. Ok I just replayed this night in my head and I don’t think I can say much other than Megan got the new nickname “buttsex” and there was a skinhead in a tuxedo g-string with a superman tattoo on his chest.I need to remember this when im 50, look back and then pretend my life was wild like this every night.
Military people are a different breed. heres some ideas on what happened that night:
Baby man
Naked shower
Jacuzzi sex
don’t mess with Texas ANYTIME
nibley niblin on nip
Back massages
tuxedo G-string
"when naked Marines attack!"
Wife with the bible and a horse face
YOU FORGOT YOUR THOOOOOONG!
mmmkmmk
We woke up in the morning and watched the Hangover and drained the jacuzzi while i made pancakes. Classic. I hope you enjoyed your fucking flapjacks NIBLEY, they were made with love and jack because i couldnt find a clean cup :) Come home safe and soon.
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