Different Strokes

Went over to Concord this weekend to see Karina and pretend we are amazons together (shes 6'4, yah, its impressive and yah she did eat her vegetables and NO she doesn't play basketball)Karinas mom calls her "I thought i heard a mans voice. do you have a boy in your room?" "oh no mom, its just Ashley." it's sad how regularly i hear this... We do a bit of chat roulette which is put to a drastic end after i try to do the thizzle dance for somebody and the second i put a look on my face like i smelled some piss i slid on her rug and fell on my ass. so that was the end of that. Her house is amazing! its like a cluster fuck of awesome. her moms an artist so there are a bunch of paintings everywhere and they travel all over the world so they have a bunch of foriegn chatchkes.



The next morning was awesome because i got to go with Karina to work.shes like a carni, her dad owns a jumpee company in the bay area and for $100 she FACEPAINTS! so this is basically the sickest gig ever.i mean its as pointless as professional pet photography but you get to go to little kid parties, paint, EAT, and laugh at all the controlling parents, especially the birthday boys dad who had eyebrows loaded with sunscreen. It was a mario themed party and karina said i could help paint faces if i wanted except i only knew a couple of characters, like mario.. and luigi,green mario. these kids start asking for yoshi and by their description i ended up drawing pickles with smiles and . i wish i took a picture of this little Arabian boy oh man. he asked to be Mario so i start painting his mustache and it looks like a Hitler strip and i start laughing uncontrollably and the kid looked worried. when i finished the mustache it looks too realistic. he looks like a full grown man with facial hair blowing bubbles. then they asked for gloves and i said because of all the wrinkles his hands looked like an albino rhino.

My favorite kid was a mulleted ginger with glasses who came up to us with a balloon tied to a pail and he just looks at me and karina and says "will you take this off for me? i like to free things!" so shes trying to untie it and he starts panicking and says "umm can you hurry UP?" then runs to the middle of the field and jumps up and down as he lets the balloon go. such an awesome kid. when we were done we stayed at the park and karina painted me a butterfly mask that i kept on all day. We hung out in her secret garden and boxed because for some reason she has a buff rubber dummy in her garage that is the type of guy that Nuche would drop her panties for...






Little kid parents are so obnoxious.like some of these kids would want a really interesting thing on their cheek and the mom would just stand there and go "are you sure honey? is that what you REAAALLY want? thats a little feminine. cant you pick something else?" its fucking temporary face paint and its THEIR choice. I think they know what they want and i think parents like that really mess up their kids confidence instead of letting them choose. Im lucky that my parents dont do that. well atleast my dad never did, unless its like " are you sure you want to be lighting that match so close to your face?" and, well, mom actually does that all the time but i learn to either ignore it, or turn it into a compliment. "are you suuuuure you want to wear THOSE shorts?" i take that as "because if you wear those shorts every boy it town will be drooling over those sexy legs and you'll cause car crashes with your beauty!" awwwww thanks mom!


Im sick. My voice isn’t even a voice but a series of popping noises. And it doesn’t help that every time I sneeze I plug my nose so now I have headaches because my brain is full of snot. I think its because we went down to the beach last night and got coffee and watched this band called "mellow dudes" and threw rose petals into the ocean. we almost got run over by the police on a quad telling us about all the rapes there have been on the beach we were at. AWESOME.

on an ending note about rape and scary places: when i say "dont go to mexico youll get jumped" and you DO go, and DO get jumped, i will laugh, especially because they tried to shank you with a spork. but im happy that your voice sounds like el diablo and you make every mexican in a 10 mile radius NOT want to rape, kill and fill your dead body with drug balloons. :)



MAKE GOOD CHOICES