take some honey...

I The Owl and the Pussy-cat went to sea In a beautiful pea green boat, They took some honey, and plenty of money, Wrapped up in a five pound note. The Owl looked up to the stars above, And sang to a small guitar, ‘O lovely Pussy! O Pussy my love, What a beautiful Pussy you are, You are, You are! What a beautiful Pussy you are!’ II Pussy said to the Owl, ‘You elegant fowl! How charmingly sweet you sing! O let us be married! too long we have tarried: But what shall we do for a ring?’ They sailed away, for a year and a day, To the land where the Bong-tree grows And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood With a ring at the end of his nose, His nose, His nose, With a ring at the end of his nose. III ‘Dear pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling Your ring?’ Said the Piggy, ‘I will.’ So they took it away, and were married next day By the Turkey who lives on the hill. They dined on mince, and slices of quince, Which they ate with a runcible spoon; And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand, They danced by the light of the moon, The moon, The moon, They danced by the light of the moon.

thats a humdinger.

Urban Dictionary is the dirty girls ultimate guide to vocabulary. I visit on the regular just to keep up with what the nasty little fuckers on the streets are saying. most start out simple, the common mesh of two words. the word of the day: EX:FARTICLE.guess... The microscopic, airborne particles of fecal matter that are released by the anus during a fart. GROSS! I inhaled your farticles!

Then a "friend" and i were talking about that song Whistle. " is he saying he likes it when girls try to whistle while oral? so we try whistling with our mouths gaping. Then i remembered about giving "a hummer". I knew id heard that sometime before in a 60's game show repeat, the laugh track played ...but I DONT GET IT. as Oprah says, i had an "aha moment". As Oprah also says, "My vajay jays paininnnn." not relevant. A Hummer (UD Def.): More than a blowjob; it's when a girl actually hums (thus vibrating her lips) when her mouth has encased your engorged penis or balls. Your mom gives great hummers. So that brings on the question, what song would you hum with a dick in your mouth? a question id never thought i had to ask or answer. Karinas immediate answer: the Barney song Annelise: twinkle twinkle little star me: i believe in a thing called love. Think of all those long high notes! Im actually going to throw this HUMDINGER into casual conversations and see if i can find some authentic, no bull shit friends. I will NOT take "Ew" as an answer.

nightlights

Karina and i took to the city, as was our old sexy giant routine; to stand tall and strut. When you're walking with a 6'4 chick you tend to stand up a little straighter... We went to the Silver Clouds Karaoke Bar in the Marina and it was desolate, except for a large asian family eating dinner behind the stage. With no audience i had guts of gold and glory. We went up there no shame singing duets like "aint no mountain high enough" to her " ill always love you" by miss Houston which blew me away....After a cranked out my Cher impression "believe", i thought i had the pipes of a gilded cherub. I'm KILLING IT AT THIS KARAOKE SHIT! THROW ME ANOTHER! ......."my name is..." What?" slim shady. I'm ready, mean muggin and all and then the chorus goes and i realize i don't know the words at all and thought it was another song. I can feel ALL 7 people in the buildings eyes watching me giggle nervously and sweat until i can just get back to that fucking chorus "my name is WHAT?"lean,"WHO?" lean, "sick sick slim shaddddyyyyy". Alteast its over in3 minutes, then I'm singing "it wasn't me" Then i finish it with a grand finale of gang signs and fart on the mic. not really. I never saw the draw to sing old songs poorly in front of strangers, but it gives you such a thrill when you hit that note just like MIA in Lady Marmalade. shivahs down my spayne gurl.

Then the next night i went to Underdogs for $1 margaritas for 30 minutes and met Jenny my old roommate there. Ran into some girls from the dorms freshman year then went to get burgers at Barneys in the Castro. Then we stopped by Marengo where Jenny works and drank some "Foggy roses", whiskey muddled with strawberries, mint, and cucumber and garnished with a cherry soaked in brandy. Beautiful, but tasted like dirt. Then we went downstairs to Bar None where I bought a round of my poison.. TEQUILA!!!

Another night Ximena and i trekked to DNA Lounge for Mash up night. It was SICK!We walked in, realized we were not drunk enough to dance as hard as we wanted to so we did split a bottle of vodka in the alley. ready to go! Met a tall guy,had a great night. danced like its all I've ever been asked to do. All under the command of a red-dreaded tranny in a leather speedo. ahhh this city ;)

90s Night at HiFI Lounge was a hit. 90cent drinks for 90 minutes with the fashion and the music, if you could call it fashion...I feel like the most outstanding 90s things were the cartoons and the spice girls. So i just wore my concert tee circa '98 with some ripped blue jeans and sex hair. 90 cent drinks are a god send, but when you have a time limit its gets hysterical. We met karina at the silver cloud with her mom and sang MORE karaoke!

sang me sum mambo #5 with the girls in the real spirit of the 90s. Ximena was being a sneaky drunk skunk and kept running back to the kitchen, stealing crab dumplings from the fridge and then running back out again. like the college robin hood she brought back onions, tabasco, and handfuls of dumplings to the sloshed peasants. DUN DUH NUH! then we booked it for the bus and a long walk home. you know you've had a good night when you wake up with an onion in your pocket. said no one ever. UNTIL NOW.

San Francisco

mmkay mmmkay I'm back in the bay... can i get a HEY? today, today!So I've been here since September 2nd and Ive already had ultimate highs and lows. I realized i was going to be homesick but not to the point where the second i hear anyones voice from home my eyes let down the floodgates. Means i care i guess... The trip up to SF was a little cramped.

My mom, grandma and I drove to Pepperdine to watch Rachel play a 2 day Volleyball tournament. We stayed at my grandmas sisters house and she fed us like she wanted a blue ribbon at the county fair. Baked peach pancakes, chicken parmesan,home grown tomato balsamic salad, fresh ceviche... god dayum i should have left a tip! Eleanor (my grandma) is batshit crazy. We were talking about 50 shades of grey at the dinner table and she says "I'm a country girl, we didn't need to read books about sex, I've seen 50 shades of pigs! thats how i learned!",and then continued to talk about how shed help her dad castrate the pigs and they'd eat the balls. so if you ever came at me with the insult,"your grandma eats PIG BALLS!"... completely accurate, but get da fuck out ma face. The Pepperdine VS University of Arizona game was a nail biter. Pep won the first 2, U of A the next 2. Micaela was on the students side so i went to sit next to her.... bad idea. every time each made a block (at least 30 were made, that little brick wall:)

i stood up and screamed in my raspy ass voice"GET ER DONE!" or "KILL EM". the evil eyes i got did NOT go unnoticed. then some guy yelled at the team , "GO BACK TO ARIZONA" and i snarkishly replied, SHUT UP. then went back to the visitors side and watched them play their hearts out only to lose by 3. shit. Got to say good bye and got a very intimidating team poster. I love that girl to pieces, not like i could ever break that muscled model. Mom and i take the trip to SF just us two with everything I've ever loved in the back of that tin can golden love van with 10 CDs and a cooler of diet coke and apples. We start off slow and easy, a little Shania Twain through the 101, then some sheryl crow on santa monica blvd. because she's the essence of roadtrippin music. The 3rd CD i toss in the Rocky Horror soundtrack... Realized my moms fucking dope. We were singing every word, doing every accent AND I'm positive shed look identical to Dr.Frankenfurter if shed just get a corset and learn how to walk in pumps. Then maybe she can make me a boyfriend, in just 7 days!

We get to the house and its gorgeous! Located directly across from Golden Gate Park and a 5 minute stroll to Haight, well, its more than ideal and i thank my lucky stars(AKA sonya and Jessica) that I'm not in a shoebox on the outskirts of the city. tall roofs, dark wood trim, i got a window! awwwwwwwyeeaaaaaahhhh. after we moved everything in we ordered pizza,got groceries, and sat around until our eyelids gave up on us. My mom came in in the morning to say good bye and we had the usual cryfest as i watched her walk down the stairs and disappear until the next time. Sonyas work was having a BBQ at the park that afternoon so we baked a blackberry apple pie, cookies,fresh salsa, and a greek salad. We played beer bottle frisbee golf and stuffed our faces FAT. Then went home and took thanksgiving naps.THEN KARINA CAME BY! sexy giants reunited! she hitched a ride, sat on my roof and talked about love, then colored fuzzy posters, watched the Dictator, (id give it 2 thumbs Aladeen) then passed OUT. Magical! I wake up to an empty house. cool right? i get to dance around in my underwear while i unpack a little more complete bliss. Then I start to think who can i call to hang out? i felt like in PB there was always someone there, everyone has jobs and school ALL DAY. i went from having such a frequent buzz of people in the heat wave in SD, to below 60 and silence. Just something i need to get used to until i get a job. When Sonya gets back from work we go to ikea for pillows and meatballs. Then we go to ximenas house and laughed until it hurt. A bit of normalcy, made it feel like home again. :)