Lets play a little catch up shall we?

• The Giants won the World Series and i couldn't be more of a band wagon jumper. Everything was orange and black and people were hollering. i can't resist a good HOLLLAAA.

• I took a trip down to Stanford to see Rachel play Volleyball and that was nice. spent most of my time eating hot dogs and trying to get on the big screen. my life. nutshell. Then I spent the night at her hotel, gave her the desert sunset painting i made for her birthday, ate CPK, skyped with our cousins for a couple hours then watched her play Berkeley the next day. WOOPIE!

•  Went to the most bizarre Halloween party with Ximena. On the walk home I took a wrong turn. A gay jogger decided to guide me home and show me multiple pictures of his foofy white dog in giants clothes and insist i sleep on his couch. we were honestly HOLDING HANDS AND SKIPPING. we walked by this cholo party and he just asked if we could go in. that works for gay men too?  got a couple beers then tried to go home. I asked him how long he'd known he was gay. he said he was straight, got offended and i made an excuse so i could do my late night exercise where i pretend I'm being chased by a black man through golden gate. scratch that, its more of an exercise for my neck from thinking someones always on my heels. you know i don't run, bitch puh-leez.

• Went over to Oakland for Matts birthday. It went swimmingly. I met all his friends and enjoyed giving my well rehearsed small talk monologue and then going into personal questions like, "after 6 months in a relationship fetishes start to emerge, whats your fetish and what scares you?" Thank you zobmondooooo. It was nice to do something other than folding his delicates or talking berkeley politics. 

• Karina and I had a couple face painting jobs in southern San Francisco.  The first one had kids with accents and pizza. SCORE! we ended the job by painting imgonnarapeyourchild staches on. The whole car ride i was yelling at men like a man,"thats a sweet asssssss!" The second party was a gay couple whose daughter and best friend had the same birthday and matching necklaces with their picture on it. One wanted a rainbow tiger so they ALL wanted to be rainbow tigers. I drew one kid like optimus prime and all the hair toddlers wanted to be werewolves. fitting. They had a margarita machine and rainbow lollies. we grabbed some party favors and headed to the Young Scandanavian Halloween party! we dressed as sexual unicorns/prostitutes. It was the first time in a while i had worn heels and i forgot how good it feels when you enter a room and all eyes are on you. Not to mention i was in a corset and a tutu with my 6'4(6-7 with heels) matching unicorn. made out with a man that was named dave matthews dressed as Thor, then regretted making out with a man named dave matthews. Then there was some goon trying to get fresh with me and karina said she knew him and he screwed another friend over so while i was dancing i pick pocketed his phone without him even realizing and hid it behind the bar. that was a first, and a last. I saw one girl so drunk she hit her head on the curb and before i knew it i had her blood all over my hand from trying to cover her gash on her temple. Im not germaphobic in the least. i ran to the bathroom, washed my hands and went to do a vom chalant when karina actually charges into the door and crashes in a pile next to the toilet. we went back out and stole Thors hammer and I started saying that she MUST be the real Thor. we found a Romney mask and danced with binders of women then got a ride home with an M&M. 

• Went to Booties Halloween party and I dressed as Space. On the Muni we ran into 2 girls dressed as the improving duo Kat and Garth from SNL and they sang us a song about kit kate and cigarettes. nothing that crazy happened inside, other than the usual tranny shit show with lots of indian men in masks. Halloween must be a great night for them. Ximena and I are never drunk enough for that place. go.alley. bottle. NOW. When we went back in we were dancing on stage and this strong jawed woman starts grinding on me. "it's ME! its CHARLES!" it was menas guy friend dressed as Lana Del Rey and looked DAYUM GOOD. Then we left and found a bunch of Gay porno magazines in the street. The train was extremely stuffed and everyone was young and costumed, crevice to crevice. X and I hung pages from the pornos on the pull stings and got the bus to start singing Sir Mix A Lot.

• ANOTHER HALLOWEEN PARTY! shit I'm getting tired writing about it. On actual halloween we went to Castro to the Lookout and I dressed as when Pigs fly with a sky shirt and a flapping pig hat courtesy of jessica. It was raining so we headed home a little earlier and i met matt the karate kid at my house. good Halloween!

Turkey Day!

The night before we all met up at our favorite sushi place, Goemon. They're really close with the sushi man and we get faded off his jalapeño champagne that he calls his "pussy juice". he has all these drinks that he makes and then tapes naked ladies on the back of the bottle and we all hoot and holler and he does his toothless laugh. The backyard had a little koi pond where you can smoke and we all sat out there asking each other what the each others favorite dance move was and to demonstrate the dance you do when you're ecstatic.
My first thanksgiving on my own was a success! Sonya and I rearranged our house to have the festivities here with her coworkers and siblings. Everyone had their assigned food, I made cranberry sauce. I would have opted to just buy 10 of the jello canned ones, da  best ones, but that'd be a cop out and making the real stuff was surprisingly easy: berries, juice, sugah, ZEST. I also attempted carmel corn 3 TIMES! i never make the kernel kind and it kept burning. Sonya Stewart comes over like Alton Brown and explains that you put one lone kernel,wait for the pop and then you pour em all in. AHMAZING!

My family had a broken thanksgiving on Tuesday since were all around the states. Mitchell and brandon joked about suicide at the table on account of the Rhoades sisters absence and that made me smile. Then i get a text from Mitch saying "heard about tony, I'm really sorry. I was listening to Enya at the time. "..... What?
On the morning of I woke up, watched the parade and called family. Mom was in New York AT the parade, sis was in Oregon flying back to Pheonix for a game. and dad was at home doing nothing except forgetting to tell me MY CAT WAS FUCKING DEAD. I'm 22. I understand that you don't need to give me the fluffed up "he went to kitty heaven meow meow" story, but i would have MUCH preferred that compared to the gory facts that are burned in my head now.

WHAT REALLY HAPPENED ( be weary):
Tony was sitting on the bathroom sink watching my friends dad take a piss and he started contorting and spasming, hacking up blood and then fell off the counter. yup fucking great.

After everyone showed we decided to take a walk in golden gate park for some soccer with some volleyball on the side. When we got back we had enough time to drink about 3 more glasses of mulled wine and 2 mojitos and 1 trip to the roof before the turkey was cooked. Everyone sat around the table like scavengers, just picking at green fans at ripping at loaves of bread until the grand unveil.

As we sat we all went around and said what we were most thankful for. Family, friends, alcohol and opposable thumbs were the top rated answers. A meal that took 6+ hours was finished by 15 in 10 minutes. The boys had played triscuit and then scattergories! things like "ildos,d" for a toy that starts with I and fighting over if dingleberries are actually "sticky" or if they're just stuck. no round was complete without a poop joke. After some apple pie and coffee (and much more mulled wine)